Speechless and Amazed.

Wow. I'm speechless and amazed. When our family took that initial plunge to adopt, we had no idea what we would face in November of
'09. We requested a baby girl. But God knew better, His plan was far greater than we ever imagined. Little did we know, as we submitted our dossier to Russia, God had something else in mind. But even though we requested a girl, we were open to whatever God had for us, no matter what it is and was. We want His will to be done in our lives. Surrendering your wants, will, and wishes, to God can be a scary thing but also a freeing thing. But God knows what is best. Being in His will is where we have the greatest joy and peace. So, He's given us twin baby boys. Yes, you read that right. We'll be getting two little 10 month old babies. This is way better than I ever imagined! They are adorable baby boys, and seem to be growing and developing at a normal-as-could-be-in-an-orphanage situation. After receiving the referral, a week later we were given a Medical Report with more information on the boys, except it was in Russian. Great. Who can read Russian? Not me! Thankfully our adoption Doctor could. He reviewed it, and saw something that could be an issue. One of the boys has a potentially terminal and fatal health condition. After much prayer,and Godly council, my parents are following the Lord's leading. They have decided to bring the boys home, to become members of our family. I'm sure glad I didn't have to decide. The hugeness of a decision like this is never fully understood until one goes through it. These past few weeks, we were reminded that no matter what happens, if that disease shortens his life, if God chooses to heal him, if he stays sick, no matter what, God is still so good. We were reminded by a very dear family friend that God doesn't care as much about little M's body, as much as his soul. Although "M" will get outstanding medical care, here in the USA, I realized that the most important thing for "M" was not necessarily treatment for his physical body, but for his soul. He will also get to hear about his Abba Father. I started thinking, everyone in this world has a terminal disease. Everyone. Whether they know it or not. We were all born with it. Sin. And one day, each one of us will have to die, because of the fall of man, and because sin entered the world. We can (for use of a metaphor) get "treatment" by believing in and accepting Jesus Christ. And even though we have to die physically, we get to live forever with our Father. In a place of no suffering, no sadness, no pain, no dying, no disease, no crying. We also realized that if we say no to these boys, who will say yes to them? Who will tell them about our God, and what Jesus did for him? Who will love them, and care for them, even with "M's" disease? Perhaps they would get split up. A family would take "N" and little "M" will grow up in the orphanage by himself, never knowing his biological brother.

So here is a piece of an awesome story that is still being written. God knows what the future holds. Maybe we won't get these boys (because God closes the door), or maybe we will. We are taking that step of faith and diving in! God has given us a "peace that surpasses all understanding" It has washed over us, and given me/us a sense of total calmness.

The other evening I was lamenting over all those children like my precious "M" who have a "defect". In the world's eye, they are not as good as us, healthy people. Or they are seen as throw aways. The sickly and others are almost looked down upon. Who will love those children? God has really opened my heart to those children that the world looks down upon. My heart breaks for them. I want to be able to minister to them. It isn't their fault they have disease, illnesses, handicapps, etc. The problem is sin. They need someone to advocate for them, help them, and love them.

~paige